Xena: Warrior Princess Season 1

Xena: Warrior Princess

SPOILERS TOTAL. You've been warned.

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101: Sins of the Past 1995 September 4
(First watched 2025-03-18) At the beginning of Hercules, he went home and was fawned over by his mother. At the beginning of Xena, she goes home and is despised by her mother (for a while). How did Xena become such a skilled warrior if she grew up in this sheep village where nobody else seems to be able to fight?

Xena does some crazy moves I haven't seen since the Burly Brawl.

Gabrielle must have some high Speech stat to BS her way through so many situations with words.

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102: Chariots of War 1995 September 11
(First watched 2025-03-23) So her past is a matter in this issue... good. Because her past vs Hercules's past seems like the biggest difference between their shows. In this case, some of the people she's helped out know about her bad reputation. Plus the point is brought up that if she had a change of heart, so might these other warrior types so maybe don't kill them right away.

Very random chance that Gabrielle happens to meet one of the major ~antagonist characters while stuck in the next town over.

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103: Dreamworker 1995 September 18
(First watched 2025-03-25) So the swordfighters among the mystics... were they just wanting to die for the glory of their gods? Because they sure seemed willing to be targets for Gabrielle.

Wanted to tell Xena that obviously the people in her dream telling her their names were fakes, because that wasn't knowledge she had. So it was either imagined or came from the god manipulating her dream.

So in the end... the bad Mystics are kicked out and the good Mystics take back over... but what about the gods themselves? Do they not give a shit? They were willing to go along with the bad ones and try to prevent Xena's dream success, but are hunky dory with the nicer folks taking back over?

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104: Cradle of Hope 1995 September 25
(First watched 2025-04-07) Taking place during/near the time of origin myths makes the world... a bit goofy. In this episode we meet Pandora, granddaughter of the famous Pandora, a story everybody in the world seems to know. So uhhh are they trying to say that as recently as two generations back, mankind didn't have any of the problems that escaped from the box? I'm gonna call bullshit on that one. Also, what a lousy box if it's so easy for them to accidentally open by knocking over.

The solution to the prophecy felt a bit obvious... like, really only one of two major interpretations of it from the beginning. And given the king wasn't a baby-killer, that ruled out one way the episode could play out.

Fun action scenes where they had to keep tossing the baby around.

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105: The Path Not Taken 1995 October 2
(First watched 2025-04-15) So as part of a rescue mission, Xena goes back to a meeting place for scum that old bad Xena used to go to. People there have heard rumors of her changing, but she is able to wash away (most) suspicions. This is a kind of story they can really only do now. Three seasons in, NOBODY is gonna be fooled.

So her old flame catches her, finds out what's going on and their conversation kind of ends up like "Why weren't you honest with me?" "I didn't know how much you cared. Will you join me?" "Uhhhhh, I don't think so." Well, guy, I guess it's pretty obvious why she wasn't honest with you!

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106: The Reckoning 1995 October 16
(First watched 2025-05-04) Ares sure seemed desperate to get Xena back for someone who apparently never actually met her in person during her warlord days. I guess he screwed up by just taking her for granted. Too late now, guy.

The solution felt a bit dumb. Like... she was supposed to be able to call the warriors from the dead if she joined in his scheme, but she didn't. She just... asked for the dead people. It's not like she signed some poorly written contract. She just broke the spirit of the agreement and luckily the god of war was willing to let her get away with it.

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107: The Titans 1995 October 30
(First watched 2025-06-01) So the Titans were just... turned to stone next to a small village that also had the knowledge of the chant to wake them up? It just went unused for so long they weren't pronouncing it properly?

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108: Prometheus 1995 November 6
(First watched 2025-06-02) So the first proper crossover with Hercules since Xena spun off. Even before their names were in the opening credits, there was obvious Hera stuff going on in the teaser so I knew at least some concepts from that show would be appearing. Strangely, I think this is the first time we've actually heard Hera talking rather than just flashing eyes in the sky and working from behind the scenes.

So when Prometheus is captured, all the gifts he shared with mankind start to disappear... seems like a hard thing to implement as a curse of sorts. I mean, he may have taught people fire, but it's a natural thing. So somehow capturing him prevents the natural chemical reactions of fire from happening, or prevents the natural action of platelets scabbing over a wound. But maybe this isn't the show to overthink with too much science.

So Hercules and Xena were fighting because neither wanted the other to use the sword to free Prometheus, and be destroyed in the doing. The solution seemed to be about as easy as I was thinking, even if done in a more complicated way using skydiving from crazy birds--use the sword as a ranged weapon rather than a melee weapon, and there's nobody holding it to turn to ash.

Interesting to see Gabrielle looking to Iolaus for like... tips on how to better sidekick.

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109: Death in Chains 1995 November 13
(First watched 2025-06-24) The gods... sometimes seem pretty weak. The goddess of death gets tied up and can do nothing about it. Can some other god go free her? Nah, they'll just drop in on Xena and ask her to take care of it.

They acted like Xena and Sisyphus had some history, but this is his first appearance on the show. So... when was this? During Xena's warlord days?

Gabrielle go a single episode without introducing another potential love interest challenge: failed.

Xena's chakram acted as essentially a buzzsaw to cut off a tree limb. What the hell? Is it supposed to be magic? Until now its "powers" have essentially been bouncing at exactly the right angles needed.

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110: Hooves and Harlots 1995 November 20
(First watched 2025-06-29) I thought they were going to play with the fact that Lucy Lawless's first character in the franchise was an Amazon, but nope, different group of them.

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111: The Black Wolf 1996 January 8
(First watched 2025-07-01) Always nice to see Salmoneus, though this is maybe the most "Also Salmoneus was there" episode yet, without a big role for him.

At one point one of their escape plans involves gathering shirts to make air bladders... seems like that would be an incredible thing to do with prison resources. First the people would have to have shirts that would be waterproof, then they'd have to be sewn together tightly... not exactly quickie prison escape material.

They might as well have the chakram talk, it is clearly alive and moving in ways inanimate objects just don't.

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112: Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts 1996 January 15
(First watched 2025-07-07) Gabrielle takes one staff fighting lesson with some Amazons and suddenly can hold her own against soldiers.

Really bugged me that Xena actually used the phrase "beware Greeks bearing gifts", which is a reference to the story of the Trojan war, which this episode is itself retelling! But it seems a character in the original tellings said something similar, so I guess in the Xenaverse she gets to rip off his best line.

Several instances in this episode of things like stone walls shaking when hit, revealing them to be... not very much stone walls.

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113: Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards 1996 January 22
(First watched 2025-07-11) Bad: A clip show, just halfway into the first season? Good: Amusing that when people other than Gabrielle are telling stories, the clips are from old movies. Including, of all things, Spartacus.

Euripedes was played very much like a Vulcan.

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114: A Fistful of Dinars 1996 January 29
(First watched 2025-07-13) Sometimes we meet some old friend of Xena's. Like here, for about a minute until he dies. But... wasn't Xena a murderous asshole until about a year ago? When was she getting decent friends that would still count in her present condition? And murderous asshole Xena wasn't interested in the powers of a god?

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115: Warrior... Princess 1996 February 5
(First watched 2025-07-14) Lucy Lawless had already played two roles before being Xena, and now they've added a fourth. Really leaning into her being one of the default player model choices when you start the game.

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116: Mortal Beloved 1996 February 12
(First watched 2025-07-19) A few episodes back I was wondering why Hades had to come to Xena for help. Here they make it more explicit: without his fancy helmet that lets him be invisible, he's almost useless. Come oooon. They're gods, they've got to have a little more going on than that! Even in this specific instance, we saw him take on Hercules and fight him to a standstill, which is a little more than nothing.

Someone only getting one judgment on death, but being able to be temporarily re-alived so they can die again and get a new judgment... if this was a game I think we'd say this was an exploit.

The Harpies CG was much more in line with the lower level of CG I expect from these shows than the recent skeletons on Hercules.

Charon spinoff when?

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117: The Royal Couple of Thieves 1996 February 19
(First watched 2025-07-21) Autolycus is back. I think it will always be a fun time when Bruce Campbell shows up. Autolycus and Xena haven't met before, but Hercules is brought up a lot because he's their mutual connection who brought them together. Though I'm a bit fuzzy on exactly how that happened. Did Autolycus just come up during discussions one of the times we know they were together? Or prior to this episode did Xena track down Hercules and ask if he knew any good thieves, but Hercules himself was too busy to help?

Sinteres was a silly looking but effective villain. I should've been expecting the guy Autolycus was impersonating to show up, but it surprised me. Then his real strength is knowledge of pressure points, so he and Xena have a goofy-looking fight where they're essentially poking at each other.

Double subverted expectations at the end. I was thinking the thing in the chest seemed a lot like the Ark of the Covenant from Raiders of the Lost Ark except backwards, in that you _want_ to stare at it to survive. And then... it straight up IS the Ark of the Covenant after all.

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118: The Prodigal 1996 March 4
(First watched 2025-07-25) Feels kind of silly that Gabrielle goes from a moment of uncertainty to deciding to leave Xena and go home for an indefinite amount of time within a couple minute... now that's making a quick decision! However, good premise to show how much she's changed and has to offer even without Xena. But uhhh... didn't she have family other than her sister? They sure never appeared on screen.

By this point Hercules has gone full cartoon, and Xena has been lagging behind a bit. But when a thrown spear catches a guy and throws him back a few dozen feet... yeah, it's getting there.

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119: Altared States 1996 April 22
(First watched 2025-07-28) Another story dealing with thinly veiled Abrahamic religion. Obvious parallels to the story of Abraham and Isaac, but they don't want it to match 100% so instead it's Anteus and Ikus. I find it kind of hard to see how the talk of "one true god" can really fit in, on a show where multiple gods have made themselves present this season alone. Unless in this franchise's case, it's meant to express: "Those other gods suck ass, I'm the real boss."

Young Karl Urban is the biggest thing differentiating it from the Biblical story, in that he is manipulating events to try and get his younger brother sacrificed so he can be the next leader. His "god machine" setup seems kind of lame, though. He's drugging people which helps, sure, but he's just banging on metal to fake thunder and speaking through a cone to amplify his voice... this would really only be effective when a person is in a very specific area.

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120: Ties That Bind 1996 April 29
(First watched 2025-07-29) Xena's long-lost father shows up, seems to be genuine... but it's a faaaake! Ares is a little too much the typical villain here. His plan is going well, then he just overdoes it at the end so much that Xena can't take him seriously.

And uhhh, Xena, it sure was a bit easy for you to fall back into "Kill all the villagers!" Like falling off a wagon. It was almost played as if she was under Ares's influence, but if it was that simple Ares wouldn't be jumping through so many hoops to manipulate her. Strong move on Gabrielle's part to straight up attack Xena when this was happening.

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121: The Greater Good 1996 May 6
(First watched 2025-08-02) "Lord Seltzer" may be Salmoneus's best name yet.

So both Xena and Hercules lately have done some pretty good "let the sidekicks lead" episodes, and this is somewhat another. Xena is poisoned and Gabrielle and to a lesser extent Salmoneus have to pick up the slack. It's worth noting, though, in this case their plans _didn't_ work. So if Xena hadn't come back from her apparent death, they'd have been totally boned.

At one point Gabrielle's plan is to ride for a few days to where she thinks Iolaus can be found. So not only is Hercules constantly joining and splitting from him, but Xena and Gabrielle know his itinerary too?

We don't learn who shot Xena with the poison dart. Unusual for these shows, they haven't (so far) usually left something open like that.

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122: Callisto 1996 May 13
(First watched 2025-08-05) Well, they didn't leave it an open mystery for long. Callisto may be a result of Xena's earlier awful days, but now she's being just as awful. Maybe she was sympathetic once, but now destroying entire towns just to tarnish someone else's name... hard to see her as anything but just awful.

Ted Raimi playing a very Ted Raimi character.

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123: Death Mask 1996 June 3
(First watched 2025-08-10) Goes unstated, but has to be intentional that immediately after the "Here's a woman Xena turned crazy by being a warlord" episode, this is a "Here's the warlord who turned Xena crazy" episode.

So now it's her previously unknown older brother who shows up. They've gotta be running out of family surprise episodes by now?

So the main gist of this episode's bad guy is he's both the king and the bandit, so he can manipulate his subjects into being willing to pay more in taxes. The "kingdoms" in Hercules/Xena don't seem all that large, really. How much more is he getting in taxes that makes up for keeping an operation of dozens of bandits running?

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124: Is There a Doctor in the House? 1996 July 29
(First watched 2025-08-12) After Xena announced her plan to stop a war I was wondering how playing doctor for half an episode was going to make that happen, but I guess it worked.

They said this was a civil war, but... if they've got different names, territories, and gods; how is their war any different than any two neighboring groups at war?

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Xena: Warrior Princess Season 2