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'''''The page of quick movie reviews, which, in terms of the number of characters used, are in length shorter than or equal to the title of the very page within which said movie reviews are contained.'''''
'''''The page of quick movie reviews, which, in terms of the number of characters used, are in length shorter than or equal to the title of the very page within which said movie reviews are contained.'''''
=The page of quick movie reviews, which, in terms of the number of characters used, are in length shorter than or equal to the title of the very page within which said movie reviews are contained.=
(195)
May 25
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0068284 Blacula]
Didn't catch much.  Dracula creates Blacula, who wreaks havoc on citizens of the 70s and beds a seeming reincarnation of his wife.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0069280 Slaughterhouse-Five]
Quite good conversion of samely named book.  Similar to Catch-22 in that things don't happen in chronological order, but on a much grander scale.  Makes for interesting editing.
May 26
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0070723 Soylent Green]
Good classic sci-fi flick with a bleak future 70s.  Only big minus is the thieving, chauvinistic, ass, brutal, cop Charlton Heston protagonist.
Dunno about dates of next few ones.  HSPD might be 26 or 27, I remember watching quite a few that weekend.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0107144 Hot Shots! Part Deux]
Nice sequel, good spoof flick.  And Ryan Stiles to boot.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0071230 Blazing Saddles]
Yet more 70s.  Good Mel Brooks film.  Add one to the list of semi-western things I like.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0108606 Executioners]
Dim future, superhuman martial arts, dismemberment, exploding people, fish with legs, Michael Jackson-alikes, government corruption, church destruction... and yet unspectacular.
June 3
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0075330 Time Travelers]
Dull-as-mud 70s TV pilotish flick, commercial segmented breaks and all.  Blame Rod Serling & Irwin Allen.
''Forgot about this thing until August 10.  Surely forgotten some of what I saw, and can remember less about each.  Luckily, these are shorty short reviews.''
July 10, methinks.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0173840 Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within]
Slightly off lips, non-developed Deep Eyes, and Grey Affleck, but the best movie of a game series I've seen yet.
July 20, methinks.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0163025 Jurassic Park III]
CG advanced enough to look like cheap plastic.  Nothing new.  Tea Leoni annoying.  I miss Jeff Goldblum.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0232500 The Fast and the Furious]
Not really my bag, but not horrible.  Cars go vroom fast and things happen.
Sometime between June 3 and August 10
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0086250 Scarface]
Snortin', shootin', workin', shootin'.  Machiavelli with a machine gun.
August 12
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0239066 The Inspectors 2]
Only caught last half or so, but not bad.  Buddy postal cops go after identify thief murderer man.
August 12  [Uhh... pretty sure I meant 19]
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0119698 Princess Mononoke]
Pretty groovy.  Kinda like the Middle East situation, but with wolves and boars VS lepers and ex-prostitutes.
September 17 - 21 sometime, I think
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0190590 O Brother, Where Art Thou?]
Wow.  George Clooney meets comedy meets Depression-era setting meets VERY loose adaption of Homer's Odyssey, and I actually quite enjoyed it.
November 19-23?
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0233657 Epoch]
Generic semi-Xenogears-esque Sci-Fi blah.  Guest appearances by Dr. Philip Banks.
December 10
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0112667 The Christmas Box]
An overworked John-Boy can't get along with his family and has a recurring dream, but then figures things out and stops disliking dying lady.  Very Lifetime.
December 19
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120737 Fellowship of the Ring]
Not bad at all, even for a long-ass movie.  I don't remember book well enough to make complaints of transition.  Gandalf is the best break-dancer the world has ever seen.
December 30
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0156323 Screwed]
Average-ish comedy of bungled crime and many confusing things that happen as a result.  Norm MacDonald is cool as always, but Danny Devito is the job.
January 11, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0111512 Legend of Drunken Master]
Slow at times, but Jackie Chan makes the most loveable drunk since my grandpa and Homer Simpson.
January 12, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0217869 Unbreakable]
Wow.  Thinking movie that had me rapt to the end.  Shyamalan is el job supremo.
January 13, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0240772 Ocean's Eleven]
Sweet.  I'm a sucker for smooth criminals.
January 18, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0162222 Cast Away]
Missed first sixth or so.  Interesting to see Mr. Hanks bleed himself severely randomly, then go loony.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0091431 Armour of God]
Definitely no Operation Condor, but still a few awesomities like fighting dominatrices and Jackie Chan singing English.  And the Dark Ages predate Christ?  Riiight.
January 20, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0092493 Crocodile Dundee II]
Didn't like as much as the first, but it's good time filler.  It's like Home Alone meets Scarface meets... well, Crocodile Dundee.
January 25, 2002
[ Martial Arts in the Movies]
Too much material to fully learn, and spoiled parts of movies I haven't seen yet, but interesting historical look, plus tres clips, times Sam Jackson.
January 28, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0266915 Rush Hour 2]
A sequel on par with the original, but with a noticeably bigger budget.  Chris Tucker should give Elmo his voice back, though.
February 7, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0050976 The Seventh Seal]
Serious, yet plenty of funny, strange, and "the hell?" moments.  Death is almost as cool as in Bogus Journey.  If the movie needs anything, it's more pants.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0117492 The Road to Galveston]
Hallmark movie, and expectedly sappy.  Old lady fights inevitability --> taking care of other Alzheimer's inflicted old ladies, and then they all get happy.  The end.
February 21, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0043456 The Day the Earth Stood Still]
Several tear-wellingly silly things, and tres ineptness by individuals, governments, and military throughout, but compared to other 50s sci-fi fare, quite decent.  Small appearance by Aunt Bea.
February 22, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0250687 Rat Race]
Many characters allowed for many types of funny, as well as quick scene changes going from punch to punch.  Better than I expected.
March 3, 2002
[ Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds In Love]
Stupidly semi-entertaining at times way to spend a couple hours.  The definitive Booger movie.
March 8, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0251075 Evolution]
One-dimensional characters and a tad of product placement.  Not excellent, but a reminder that there exists categories beyond that of Nerds IV.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0255798 The Animal]
Standard Happy Madison fare, but this time with Selphie, and slightly more than usual animal sex jokes.
March 10, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120655 Dogma]
Religion is a screwed up thing, and God is crazy and stuck up.  Add a skewed view and lack of taking itself seriously, and up my thumb.
March 16, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0101962 Godzilla VS King Ghidorah]
Early 90s Godzilla time travel flick.  Bungles time travel and special effects, but cool in its own "Godzilla Part 59" context.  Run, M-11, run!
April 11, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0123385 Artemisia]
French movie, subtitled, 1600s Italy, girl painter, nudity and sex.
April 25, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0119657 Men With Guns]
Southern American nation's army and guerilla fighters royally screw up the lives of everyone and their brother.  Plus, Oblivious American Tourists.
May 16, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0121765 Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones]
Bad love story and a bit slow at points, but has its really smashing points.  New (and old) revelations and information add spice to the rest of the series.
May 18, 2002, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0108342 Time Runner]
Mark Hamill accidentally time travels to 1992 to save the future.  Assisted in his deathly dangerous doings by an alien gal and a RANDOM GUY THEY RUN INTO, WHICH ROCKS.  Very MSTable.
May 20, 2002, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0100258 Night of the Living Dead (1990)]
Nice training flick for those planning to get cornered by the undead.  The main tip: DON'T.
May 23, 2002, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0196229 Zoolander]
Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, plenty of celebrity cameos, groovy music, but most importantly it was actually very funny.  Definite thumbs up.
May 23, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0070656 Scream, Blacula, Scream!]
Blacula's back, and he's still the same hep cat.  Never sure whether to root for or against this man.  Same strangeness as the original.
May 24, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0063350 Night of the Living Dead (1968)]
Similar, yet different.  Seemed older than '68.  Less graphic, less effects, bigger music, less budget, less scary.
May 25, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0203009 Moulin Rouge!]
Weirdos including normal men turned fat or short sing anachronistically and near-constantly in century-ago Paris.  100% flashy.  Interesting.
May 30, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0114746 Twelve Monkeys]
Gilliam + Willis + Pitt = enjoyable weirdass apoco-time-fi mind-messing movie.
June 6, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0118842 Chasing Amy]
Comic book authors of varied genders and sexualities talk about crazy stuff and broaden their horizons.  I want "White-Hatin' Coon".
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0137523 Fight Club]
Some guys find themselves and decide to turn the world on its ass.  If you hope to watch the movie, I hope you don't mind a bit of violence.  AND MEAT LOAF.
June 8, 2002, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0077402 Dawn of the Dead]
Sadder, slightly less frightening (than Night '90), and a warning about anarchistic uncooperation.  Easily a better survival guide than the first.  SO outgores Fight Club.
June 10, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0113749 Mallrats]
This movie is all about the trivial, and it does that very well.  Still, I think I prefer the other Smith films I've seen.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0116768 Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy]
While the movie had its moments, it was unfortunately quite dull.  Watch more of the TV show instead.
June 11, 2002, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0088993 Day of the Dead]
Wow.  What gore there was was gratuitous.  The rest, though, I really love.  Again just enough of the same, but plenty to be its own beast.  My favorite of the series yet.
June 18, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0181739 Osmosis Jones]
Concept that anyone can think of, plus mostly being uninspired = not too great.  Bill Murray + Chris Elliot = good nasty slobs.
June 20, 2002, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0094995 Demon City Shinjuku]
Bleh-ish anime that mostly went for gore and language.  Accents applied to the dubbed people don't do it for me.  Mephisto, though, is the job.
June 22, 2002, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0087597 The Last Starfighter]
Quite 80s.  Very nice CG for its time.  I think it successfully accomplishes what it aimed to.  Might've loved it a decade back.
June 27, 2002, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0245686 Joe Dirt]
The dumb person's dumb movie.  10% good, most of which is just the way Dennis Miller is.
July 5, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0126029 Shrek]
Nifto CG movie for any age, except maybe crotchety old.  Fairy tale parody abound, and *gasp* decent CG lip work!?  Not FF:TSW realistic, but it didn't try or want to be.
July 13, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0089885 Re-Animator]
Flat characters you won't be caring about update for you a Lovecraft tale where medical school profs and students + serum that reanimates recently dead flesh = creepily kinky zombie film.
September 13, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0033467 Citizen Kane]
Flawed tycoon makes good. And bad. At least a mark. Great story telling; enjoyed almost more than I thought I could a serious movie thrice my age.
November 1, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Details?0081499 The Young Master]
At first worried about dryness, but it had its share of action and laughs. The best Jackie Chan movie I've seen of those old enough that he didn't dub his own voice.
November 10, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0145487 Spider-Man]
Not a prior Spidey fan, but I quite enjoy this live-action adaption. Some stretching of my disbelief suspension, but hey. Tobey Maguire continues to embody Joe Likeable.
December 5, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120521 The Winter Guest]
Boring and mostly unlikeable Scotsmen and Scotswomen of different ages go about their day and argue.
December 14, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Details?0253754 Star Trek: Nemesis]
The tenth Trek is truly a tale of twos.  Really, though, what I like about TNG, plus extra action, humor, surprises, everything.  One of the better two TNG flicks.
December 23, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Details?0310793 Bowling for Columbine]
If you know Mike Moore's previous work, it's pretty much what you'd expect from him in a gun film.  Anger, humor, frustration, success, evasion, and convincing.  A few clashing points, though.
December 25, 2002
[http://us.imdb.com/Details?0275847 Lilo & Stitch]
Big-nosed Hawaiians and aliens basically get crapped on repeatedly, but things work out in the end, of course.  E.T. meets Gremlins meets modern Disney.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0054135 Ocean's Eleven (1960)]
A very different movie than the remake. For the worse, in my opinion, but I wouldn't have been this movie's target audience. Sammy Davis Jr. is still the job, though.
January 4, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0124836 Young Tiger]
JC plays a role he'd normally beat up, a gangster with a mole the size of a leech. This movie and good are mutually exclusive. Without long MST3K training I'd have never made it through.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0241527 Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone]
Quite quite nice and wondrous. Accessible to a large audience without being too stupid or patronizing. Long, and some un-seamless digital effects, but hey. Thumb up.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0157262 2001: A Space Travesty]
A bit weaker and more tired, but yes, it's basically Naked Gun in space.
January 12, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0305396 Collision Course]
Better in theory than execution. 40% unexciting CIA happenings, 40% light self-parody by the Irwins, 20% collision. Still, a concept unique enough I'm glad it exists. Best actor: Sui.
February 1, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0353625 Killer Bees!]
Utterly generic and predictable "monster" movie about a swarm of poor special effects--I mean, killer bees, doling out death in a small Oregon town.
February 2, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0189072 Scooby Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf]
Dracula turns Shaggy into a werewolf, so he, Scooby, Scrappy, and his doting girlfriend have to win a race to turn him back to normal.  Utterly blah, very 80s cartoon humor and animation.
February 12, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0034583 Casablanca]
Like a cool dramatic wartime Cheers. So many times parodied that if it were new now, it would seem like a giant cliché. But yeah, I liked it. Not at Aram Fingal levels, but hey.
February 20, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0038787 Notorious]
When Cary Grant's face isn't sexing Ingrid Bergman's face and vice-versa, they're getting mixed up with evil German forces. Uneventful, though, so it didn't hold my interest.
March 7, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0047437 Sabrina]
Mostly-predictable old romantic comedy, but still enjoyable and funny. [http://us.imdb.com/Name?Bogart,%20Humphrey Humpy] remains the job.
March 8, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0066434 THX 1138]
Slow-starting and confusing movie in a dystopian world just about anyone could think of if they know the definition.
March 19, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0043265 The African Queen]
WW1-era hick Humpy puts up with religious war whore Hepburn on a steamboat trip. If I could edit out 80% of it, I could have the most bizarre short film ever. As is, kinda meh.
March 24, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0110912 Pulp Fiction]
Take Seinfeld and add guns, drugs, harsher language, and more big name stars, and you've got this wacky awesome flick.
April 7, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0242546 Jackie Chan: My Stunts]
Clips from movies, visiting of the sets, checking out the stuntmen's practice areas and techniques. Informative about the amazing work these guys do. They could teach Timex a thing or two.
April 9, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0086856/ The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai]
Meh. The comedic possibilities inherent with a group of world hero scientist musicians was totally not used to its fullest potential.
April 10, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0063462 The Producers]
Mel Brooks, Gene Wilder, Adolf Hitler. One is not like the others, but the combination works well enough.
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0243493 The Closet]
A subtitled depressed French guy reluctantly fakes homosexuality to keep his job. Hilarity ensues, as do prejudices.
April 12, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0305224 Anger Management]
It has plenty of funny bits, but this is the type of movie where they make you empathize with the main character, and then totally screw around with him.
April 19, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0293416 Metropolis]
Bulbous "kiddy" character designs meet gritty futuristic city. The themes of rights and love were nothing new, but they always tug at me hard.
April 21, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0095654 Moon Over Parador]
Dictator dies, actor takes over, hilarity ensues. Not many surprises, but a fun enough time filler.
May-ish 2003, two separate days in class
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0212826 Bread and Roses]
Illegal immigrant janitors try to unionize, with the aid of a guy who looks like Screech.  Company abuse, strike, union rallies, yada yada yada.
May 14, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0234215 The Matrix Reloaded]
I worried it'd be just action building from the original's premise.  However, the ideas were furthered along just as much.  Some slow and weird parts, but overall awesome.
May 22, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0267804 The One]
It's like Jet Li borrowed the Matrix costume and special effects crew for a week.  A multiverse tale where surprisingly little happens, and what does doesn't make sense.  Bleh.
May 31, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0081505 The Shining]
Book adaptation that lost some in the translation, but gained some bad acting and good cinematography.  Still not a bad watch, though.  Jack Nicholson as himself.
June 3, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0082085 Blow Out]
Tense tale of a sound effects man turned investigative journalist when the proper situation arises.  A good ride.
June 6, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0178868 Ringu]
Deadly tape gets uncrossed couple investigating.  Good detectiveness ensues.
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0298130 The Ring]
It's like Ringu, but with characters that look more like me, more childish main characters, some bizarre backstory changes, and both less mystical and logical.
June 8, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0295178 Goldmember]
A lot of rehash?  Yes, but some super fine rehash that kicks everything up to another level.  More smiles and laughs than I was expecting.
June 10, 2003, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0094154 Timestalkers]
30% western, 20% sci-fi, 20% mystery, 30% cheese.  Folks use time travel ineffectively to try and stop another time traveler.  [http://us.imdb.com/Name?Devane,%20William|Chock] [http://us.imdb.com/Name?Ratzenberger,%20John|full] [http://us.imdb.com/Name?Russ,%20Tim|of] [http://us.imdb.com/Name?Avery,%20James%20(I)|minor] [http://us.imdb.com/Name?Pintauro,%20Danny stars].  Made for TV, and you can tell.
June 13, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0268695 The Time Machine (2002)]
Compared to the older movie it has more emotion, action, theory, and basically is more satisfying.
June 14, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0085407 The Dead Zone]
Christopher Walken goes into a coma, turns psychic, and tries to make the best of it.  Thoroughly enjoyed.  Haven't read the book.
June 23, 2003, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0110027 Highlander III]
Quite similar in structure to the first one.  Less Queen-y.  A quite nasty villain.  But it felt like I'd been there before.
June 24, 2003, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0099582 Flatliners]
Creepy movie of med students flirting with death to study it, and the consequences of their doings.
June 28, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0114194 The Prophecy]
Awesome concept, well-done execution.  Like an episode of X-Files on steroids.  Christopher Walken is perfect.
June 29, 2003, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0254703 The Point Men]
Utterly generic tale of terrorist attempting revenge on the group who's been after him.
July 4, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0272147 Vampires: Los Muertos]
Missed chunks due to satellite outages, but seemed watchable enough for a vampire movie starring Jon Bon Jovie and Eddie Winslow.  Generic "vampire repression serum" in play, though.
July 6, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0158983 South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut]
Basically like a 2 hour long episode of the show, but with less censorship and more music.
July 7, 2003, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0279493 Undercover Brother]
A bit stupid, but only as much as it wanted to be.  Expect it, and there are some good laughs.  Generic EXTREME BLACK/WHITE STEREOTYPE COMPARISON based humor, though.
July 13, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0058700 The Last Man on Earth]
A bit of cheese, but for the most part a really creepy atmospheric movie.  Man versus world of vampires, not dissimilar to the basic concept of Romero's Dead flicks.
July 13, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0289043 28 Days Later...]
Again quite similar to Romero's Dead movies, but less paranormal, more brutal, and more of a traveling adventure.  A good watch, but then, I love the genre.
August 5, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120801 RKO 281]
A movie about the making of [ a movie], and the politicing done in attempts to kill it.  Interesting.
August 12, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0268380 Ice Age]
Meh.  Another generic animation with an unlikely group of animals overcoming their differences and becoming great friends, voiced by celebrities.  Quite nice technically.
August 21, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/Title?0112896 Dracula: Dead and Loving It]
How does one manage to have both Mel Brooks and Leslie Nielsen in a movie and have it turn out disappointingly mediocre?  Watch this movie to find out.
August 22, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299658/ Chicago]
Cinematographically, choreographically, theatrically satisfying.  Only a few parts seemed to really get beyond the usual musical "make everything a song" approach, though.
September 7, 2003
Lupin III Episode: 0, The First Contact
Rockin'.  It's like the goodness of the best episodes of the show, but with quadruple the length and apparent production values.
September 11, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0186508/ Buena Vista Social Club]
Boring-ass documentary about old Cuban musicians.  Music started out interesting, but soon it all sounded the same.  Watch Fidel's beard grow instead.
September 18, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0211915/ Amélie]
French and beautiful.  A tale of introverted dreamers trying to figure out and improve themselves, each other, and those around them.  Likeable, identifiable characters.  Thumb way up!
October 5, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0222812/ Beyond Re-Animator]
Actually really enjoyed it for a B-movie sequel.  Kid hurt by the mad scientist's work becomes a doctor to years later team up with him in prison to continue the experiments.  Hilarity ensues.
October 15, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0048281/ The Lady Killers]
Old British comedy in which Alec Guinness is head of a group of thieves trying to deal with an old lady used in their scheme.  Barely entertaining and a bit creepy overall.
October 19, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0028346/ Reefer Madness]
Quality makes it hard to see and hear, and it's quite misinformative about cigarettes, alcohol, and marihuana.  More like aphrodisiac madness.  But hey, you'll laugh with and at it.
October 23, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0041090/ Adam's Rib]
A husband and wife go at each other as attorneys and spouses.  The feminism was taken TOO far at points, but here's an old comedy that actually still contained plenty of good laughs.
October 25, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0322259/ 2 Fast 2 Furious]
Someone said "Let's see how much car action and slang we can get on screen, and fill the rest with women and 'humor'.", so they made this movie.  Plot just strings it together.  Not my thing.
October 31, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0117238/ Omega Doom]
In a humanless future, robots fight at a ruined amusement park in a vaguely Highlander-without-tissue way.  Awesomely awful production values, but other than enjoying that, not very good.
November 1, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0189998/ Shadow of the Vampire]
Quite interesting and entertaining historical fiction.  Basically, what if the actor of the vampire from [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0013442/ Nosferatu] was actually a vampire?
November 1, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144964/ Highlander: Endgame]
Some laughably goofy parts.  Switches centuries every time you turn around.  The motivation of the characters seems questionable.  Clean-cut villain.  Basically, a disappointment.
November 5, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0242653/ The Matrix Revolutions]
Anti-Reloaded.  Interesting slow parts, focus on real world, grittier weaker less balletic action scenes, awesome choral music, and didn't add any super mind-jobs.  Disappointing.
November 12, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087892/ A Passage to India]
Toooooo loooooong and too unpredictably meandering movie basically of race relations in century-ago India.
November 15, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0328962/ Comedian]
Interesting documentary.  See the process of crafting a stand-up act through the shoes of the successful veteran, and the not-as-successful up-and-comer.
November 19, 2003
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0265343/ Monsoon Wedding]
My well-attended well-proportioned Indian wedding.  A multitude of familial and romancial things go on during the ceremonies of an arranged marriage.  And the soundtrock rocks.
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0117978/ True Vengeance]
Ex-assassin/protective father VS Yakuza.  [http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0076780/ Daniel Bernhardt] must've killed a hundred folks in this sillily over-the-top guilty pleasure.  If there were super-violent MST3K, this would be a gem.
November 22, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318155/ Looney Tunes: Back in Action]
A bit like a WB-only Roger Rabbit.  However, since it comes across as actually entertaining and joyously self-referential, the toon apartheid is acceptably ignorable.  A pleasant surprise.
December 15, 2003, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086837/ 2010]
Premise is still confusing, and there are still trippy parts... but this space movie is much more down-to-earth and watchable.  Interesting future of barely evolved 80s technology and politics.
December 16, 2003
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074812/ Logan's Run]
Often hard to tell what Logan's motivation was... but another interesting future 70s utopia/dystopia, where 30 really is over the hill.
March 2, 2004 or thereabouts
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088258/ This Is Spinal Tap]
Actually I didn't write a proper short review of it at the time, so it's disqualified.  But I later wanted to mark this so I'd know when I saw it and not wonder again why I couldn't find a review of it.  It is pretty awesome, though.
March 6, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0346639/ Book of Days]
Christiany, but still good.  Grieving insurance salesman gets a book telling when people will die, and attempts to use it for good.  Of course good, bad, and ugly all happen.
March 12, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0037465/ Wilson]
Pretty boring biopic, and hard to keep track of how much time is passing.  The focus on the importance of the League of Nations almost made this seem like a pro-UN propaganda piece.
April 9, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0271454/ The Day Reagan Was Shot]
The events themselves portrayed in the movie were quite interesting and shocking if accurate.  However, the execution was lacking; most of it would've worked as well in documentary form.
April 15, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0150216/ The Cradle Will Rock]
This tale tried weaving several dozen characters into a sort of tale about workers' rights, communism fears, and the theater.  A movie can only go so far, so things felt spread thin.
Mid-May, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117119/ My Fellow Americans]
"Buddy cop"/road trip movie... except with ex-Presidents from opposing parties.  As with so many movies it was entertaining, but not outstanding.
May 24, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104926/ Mr. Baseball]
"Loser sports team gets good" movie and "fish out of water" movie had a baby and this is it.  Not amazing, but it was a fun way to pass the time.
May 28, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0253474/ The Pianist]
Wladyslaw is a pianist.  Or as I called him, The Luckiest Jew in Warsaw.  He narrowly escapes death ten times, but generally has a shitty early 40s.  The shittiness was brought to screen well.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246578/ Donnie Darko]
The movie was entertaining... but so freaky-deaky bizarre that I'm not sure what was going on half the time.  +1 for BTTF reference.
May 29, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0266452/ Death to Smoochy]
Interesting concept: the twisted world behind children's television.  Execution was slapdash, so the good chunks floated amongst the duller chunks.
June 8, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0041615/ Madame Bovary (1949)]
Young woman has aspirations.  Life doesn't meet them, so she gets bitchy and tries to please herself at the expense of others.  Typically overacted for its time.
June 11, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0025913/ Triumph of the Will]
Quickly repetitive and thus boring speeches and imagery, but a valiant propogandaic effort to make Nazi Germany look more ''divinely inspired'' than ''possessed''.
June 12, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0181852/ Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines]
Compared to the others it seemed... less of everything, except special effects.  Loved the "early" military weaponry, though.  There were even a few good laughs; many self-referential.
June 18, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087544/ Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind]
Passable post-apocalyptic pro-environment adventure.  Nifty plant and animal designs.
June 20, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286106/ Signs]
Captures perfectly a family dealing with ultimate bizareness on a growing level.  I heart teh Shyamalan.
June 24, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0280720/ The Guru]
Mostly-predictable fish-out-of-water/lie-stacking up flick.  However, that didn't prevent it from causing many smiles.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124295/ The Big One]
Unfocused.  Moore goes on book tour, speaks, and bitches at corporations when given the chance.  Would've worked better split up as TV segments.  Not bad, just more of the same and nothing new.
June 29, 2004, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089489/ Lifeforce]
Bad movie.  Poorly acted British officials (and an American) ineptly deal with life force vampires from space.  Mainly an excuse to show explosions and boobies.  Nice effects.
June 29, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361596/ Fahrenheit 9/11]
W and his cronies are fibbing spinsters beholden to the rich and reacting to terrorism in the wrong ways?  Big surprise.  Would be more effective with fewer goofily-spoken assertions.
July 8, 2004, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0241498/ The Gristle]
Two pairs of pairs of people get their illegal exchanges mixed up, leading to much gun-pointing, arguing, and dealing.  Conversations are comedically well done.  Too race-obsessed, though.
July 8, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0281686/ Bubba Ho-tep]
The best Elvis-and-JFK-save-retirement-home-from-mummy movie you'll ever see.  Does big adventure on a small scale very well.  Extremely watchable.
July 9, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112346/ The American President]
Popular President's new lobbyist girlfriend brings conflicts of interest and political attacks.  Will it all work out?  I think you can guess.
July 10, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0279889/ Joe Somebody]
Divorced loser makes good with the help of daughter and co-worker/love interest.
August 1, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295427/ The Master of Disguise]
No Critics' Choice, but hey. Plot is worthless and cliché, but it's just an excuse to bring together celebrity cameos and costumed Carvey; both of which are entertaining enough. Also Data.
August 11, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0012349/ The Kid]
Touching story of unplanned parenthood (in more ways than one). I'm no silence buff, but I was surprised how much could be conveyed with so little text.
August 13, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047127/ Jail Bait]
Crappy acting and a predictable story make for a mostly dull time.  Luckily it has a few really stupid parts and is pretty short.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109370/ Canadian Bacon]
Similar themes to other Moore movies, but fictionalized.  To make people more content, the Pres wants people afraid... of Canada.  Decent, though everyone in it has done better.
August 14, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0275067/ Wendigo]
Unsatisfying monster movie takes about 1.5 hours and 50 camera tricks to get to the point, which is... "buh".
August 15, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0172495/ Gladiator]
Boring story, but propped up by period costumes and settings, a few great battle scenes, and acting.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0334541/ Tremors 4: The Legend Begins]
Surprisingly good.  The Tremors threat, minus a century's worth of technology, with a likeable cast.
August 16, 2004, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080025/ Time After Time]
H.G. Wells versus Jack the Ripper in 1979.  Cool premise executed awesomely.  A++, would buy from again.
August 16, 2004
[http://imdb.com/title/tt0004099/ His Majesty, the Scarecrow of Oz]
A non-talkie that hasn't aged so well.  Hard to follow many plot details, but it's a pretty basic tale of good versus nasty.  Some nice performances, too: the mule rocks.  Also decapitation.
August 17, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120586/ American History X]
Events occur a bit fast to be believable... but other than that a powerful look at the personal causes and effects of hate.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101701/ Delirious]
Swell comedy about a soap opera writer truly in control of his life.  Properly melodramatically overblown.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077631/ Grease]
The teens seem a bit old.  Otherwise, a decent slice of happy-go-lucky fictional 50s in musical form.
August 22, 2004, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242150/ XChange]
Poor man's Face/Off in a near future with modern fashions but the ability to switch bodies.  Man bounces bodies to find the terrorist who absconded with his.  Also breasts and a Baldwin.
August 23, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096764/ The Adventures of Baron Munchausen]
A summary of this movie would sound awesome; it's got a number of fantastical locales and characters.  Unfortunately the nitty-gritty like dialogue isn't nearly as entertaining.
August 25, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120693/ Half Baked]
(Mostly) harmless potheads (try to) do good for their jailed friend.  Silly, but quite entertaining.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081279/ Once Upon a Spy]
Pre-Cheers Danson computer experts his way through superspy stuff with busty partner.  Nothing unique, but a pleasant light watch.  Was a TV movie, and it shows.
August 26 & 27, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119087/ Executive Power]
"Thriller" that didn't thrill me so much as disinterest me.  Had a twist or two, but I just didn't care about anyone or anything, so... I didn't care.
August 28 early AM & 28, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245429/ Spirited Away]
Alice in Wonderland meets Neverending Story meets Shenmue meets Japanese mysticism.  Groovy fantasy film.  Doesn't look half bad, either.
August 28, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077556/ Fists of Bruce Lee]
Hard to follow plot, but does that matter in a 70s martial arts picture?  Pretty bad, but a few decent acrobatic, with some bizarre music choices.  Also no Bruce Lee.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090190/ The Toxic Avenger]
Gratuitous sex and violence galore.  Sometimes funny as hell, though.  This movie is 237% cheese and loves itself for it, and so do I.
August 29, 2004, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088851/ The Bride]
Basically alternate universe Frankenstein fanfiction... but with an interesting enough concept and good acting.  Also Sting.
August 29, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120472/ Waco: The Rules of Engagement]
This documentary provides what seems to be some pretty damning evidence against the official story of the standoff and siege of the Davidians.  Scary stuff.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113220/ Virtual Combat]
Virtuosity-alike without shame or a budget.  Michael Dorn voices a cheap "final boss" VR type who escapes and causes trouble for Don "The Dragon" Wilson.
September 4, 2004, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083907/ The Evil Dead]
Cheap cheap cheap me-too gorror flick.  Wouldn't be notable but for its sequels.
September 4, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240468/ Kung Pow: Enter the Fist]
Extremely well done co-mingling of the old and new footage.  The humor is hit and miss, though.
September 6, 2004, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0276011/ Children of the Living Dead]
Poorly acted/written/conceived.  More monster than zombie.  Thinks it's cool, but is quite a dweeb.  As an NotLD sequel, goddamned atrocious.  On its own, full of unintentional laughs.
September 6, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120741/ Mafia!]
No Airplane!, but a decent enough spoof film.  Jumps all over the place (and time), though, so it's a bit hard to follow everything and everyone.  Never seems to get to full steam.
September 7, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314786/ The In-Laws (2003)]
Really well done.  I would not have wagered international espionage and Albert Brooks would make such a great fish-out-of-water combination, but it all works.
September 8, 2004, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072895/ Dolemite]
Pimp out of prison sexes, shoots, and beats... but in massive 70s blaxploitation style!.. which is pretty much all the movie has going for it.
September 10, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317910/ Fog of War]
Jumps around a lot and chops his dialogue together, but a very interesting documentary on an auto-exec-turned-Secretary-of-Defense and what he's learned over the years.
September 11, 2004
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0319262/ The Day After Tomorrow]
Characters are generic, but they're only a vehicle through which this ultimate (and arguably scientifically semi-plausible) disaster movie unfolds.  Full of awesome visuals.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327162/ The Stepford Wives (2004)]
Movie kinda whisps around until it's suddenly at the climax, but a pleasant and often really creepy comedy.  Christopher Walken as his only character, again.
September 30, 2004
[http://proth.livejournal.com/2004/11/30/ The Candidate]
(No review)
October 14, 2004
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0368447/ The Village]
Glad I watched, but certainly the least of the Shyamalan films I've seen.  Without giving much away it seemed that there were more twists, but each of lesser twistitude.
October 17, 2004
[http://proth.livejournal.com/2004/11/30/ With God By Our Side: The Religious Right & George W. Bush]
(No review)
January 21, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0357413/ Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy]
Nothing groundbreaking in this 70s period piece, but as it contains funny people successfully acting funny, it fulfills its purpose as a comedy. I heart Steve Carell.
January 22, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0284837/ Ali G InDaHouse]
Often nasty, but always extremely insane and funny. Extremely smalltime socially active gangster tries for Parliament. Obviously, hilarity ensues.
February 3, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0339579/ Returner]
Recognizably rips from Terminator, Matrix, ET, and others. Still fun in its Japanesey me-too way, though.
May 19, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0121766/ Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith]
Some superflous action, but easily the best of the prequels.  Provides believable motivation for a transition from edgy good guy to nasty bad guy.  When not disturbing, just plain fun.
July 2, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079501/ Mad Max]
Apart from the unexplainedly weird future, it seemed a surprisingly unsurprising story of cop pissing off baddies followed by things getting personal.
July 28, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473435/ Ark]
Generic anime feel; robots, screwed up planet with awful class system, etc. Except it's CG. This allowed for some truly spectacular moments, but also some truly clunky animation.
July 31, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098350/ Slipstream]
Future dirty regular joe and dirty cops fly planes. Film looks 15 years older than it is... but the first half is mysterious and the second half is explorative, so I've had worse 90 minutes.
August 1, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061140/ The Undertaker and His Pals]
Murder as business practice for mortician and diner operators. Less "dark comedy" than "dark nonsensicality with jumpy editing". Bizarre, definite 60s feel, and short, so it doesn't drag on.
Late August/Early September, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053944/ The Incredible Petrified World]
CLASSIC SCIFI about poorly prepared-for deep sea trip.  The faux documentary at the beginning was interesting, though, as was the hermit's extremely fake beard.
September 8-14-ish, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0184041/ X]
What the shit was going on?  It's like they removed all exposition (and random other things) to fit 3 manga volumes into one movie.  For a 90s anime, felt and sounded really early 80s.
September 17, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366621/ Inuyasha: The Castle Beyond the Looking Glass]
It's... Inuyasha, but longer.  Being a part of a running series that's not essential to continuity, they don't try to get away with anything too drastic.
September 23 or 24, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088286/ Top Secret!]
Zucker, Abraham, and Zucker + Val Kilmer make for an Elvis/war movie spoof with plenty to enjoy.  It's not Airplane!, but what is?
October 2, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365748/ Shaun of the Dead]
Takes a bit to get moving, but then it's quite the hoot!  Funny and pays homage to past zombie movies, while still being more believable than most of them.  Dating Horror! fans will love it.
October 11, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120901/ Wrongfully Accused]
In the Leslie Nielsen kitchen sink comedy pantheon, this sits a bit closer to Naked Gun than it does 2001: A Space Travesty.
October 13, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082694/ Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior]
Max gone wild.  The most action-y and post-apocalyptic-y bits of Mad Max made to take up 90% of the movie.  The world may be short on oil, but leather production apparently went on unscathed.
October 22, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0411805/ Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis]
A fight to the finish between the Old Navy teens and the recently deceased corpses!  Light, substanceless zombie fare that's about... 60% campy, 40% unintentional comedy.
October 22, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0411806/ Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave]
The surviving characters seem to be dumber for the time.  40% campy, 40% unintentional comedy, 20% poorly done campy.  I liked the Interpol agents, though.
October 23, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0388473/ Tokyo Godfathers]
Three homeless try to help an abandoned baby.  Starts off light, but really gets quite interesting as we learn the past of these three, and of the baby as they search for its parents.
October 26, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418819/ Land of the Dead]
The undead believably getting savvier, the living busting out a niche, few enclosed spaces, modern effects...  a true evolution for the series.  Full of class warfare.  Plus it's quite good.
November 13-ish, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082763/ Modern Problems]
This guy's problems tend to be internal or extremely bizarre moreso than modern.  S'alright, but only a few really big laughs.
November 23, 2005, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106244/ Alien Intruder]
Men compete to intrude an alien.  Plays like Red Dwarf without the funny.  The soul and set design of Space Mutiny lives on.  Also Billy Dee Williams.
December 23, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251382/ Santa Who?]
Leslie Nielsen makes for a pretty decent amnesiac Santa, but is standard "kid is mocked for his correct belief that man is Santa" fare.
December 25, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295297/ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets]
11-year-olds avoid death and solve long-puzzling mystery.  Them kids sure do grow up.  Decent adaptation of the book, though not as full as the first movie.
December 26, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0304141/ Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban]
Potter versus weird shit.  What's there is done very well, particularly near the end.  So much from the book left out, incomplete, or unexplained due to the necessities of time, though.
January 6, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0325596/ The I Inside]
Sort of a... weirdass mystery with a Slaughterhourse-Five wrapping.  Keeps you guessing.
January 13, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092067/ Laputa: The Castle in the Sky]
Wow.  Action, adventure, comedy, mystery, ancient civilizations, beautiful scenery... the kind of movie I wish I'd seen as a kid, but is still great as a full-grown kid.
January 24, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089530/ Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome]
Mad Max and the cargo cult kids screw up an already screwed-up place even more.  An interesting story for the world the first two films established.
February 4, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119942/ Primary Colors]
This fictional take on Clinton can't decide whether it's a comedy with a message or a light drama.
February 10, 2006, early AM
[http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0774116/ River City Rumble]
Sure, most of the acting, action, and humor is lousy.  As a huge fan of the game, though, I'm still glad this exists.  Might be awesome if edited down to about a fourth of its length.
February 12, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0405422/ The 40 Year Old Virgin]
I sympathized with the main character; he was like me with a better job and more stuff.  Carell is so likeable, and the best thing about this movie.
February 12, 2005
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371724/ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]
Does an admirable job setting the proper tone, but so much area was covered so quickly that it all felt rushed and didn't get a proper chance to sink in.
April 10, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0485323/ Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa]
So awesome.  Though details would spoil, it's amazing how it builds from the series, yet is also extremely unique.  Serves as a capper... while also leaving new things open.
May 26, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310281/ A Mighty Wind]
Pleasantly charming semi-documentary style comedy about a quickly arranged concert featuring some old 60s folk musical acts.  Spinal Tap guys as "The Folksmen" is groovy.
May 27, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385700/ Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children]
Story continuation is a contrived disappointment.  It's just an excuse, though, to revisit familiar characters and places with beautiful new CG animation, which is fun for fans.  100% flashy.
May 27, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0290334/ X2: X-Men United]
Shifting alliances among mutants, mutant supremacists, and mutant haters.  A few underused characters, but the movie flowed very well from point to point, staying interesting and action-packed.
May 28, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0376994/ X-Men: The Last Stand]
Doesn't flow as well as X2, but still provided a fun combination of action and ethical questions.  Could've been an interesting conclusion if they didn't leave it open.
May 29, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083658/ Blade Runner]
In a visually dense future-of-the-80s, an android exterminator is confronted by philosophical issues.  Not sure I get the massive love for this movie.
June 1, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119303/ Home Alone 3]
Home alone... due to chicken pox and working parents.  Adequately delivers on the promise of a precocious kid stopping bad guys through sabotage and trickery.
June 21-ish, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0396592/ Fat Albert]
Totally safe movie of fictional characters becoming real to boost a girl's confidence.  Would've cared more if I'd been more familiar with the old characters.
July 1, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078346/ Superman]
Backstory is done well, as are Reeve's dual roles.  However, Superman is a boringly powerful superhero, removing any tension from the superheroic bits.
July 15, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0146309/ Thirteen Days]
Nation's touchy top dogs tap dance around with fake-ass accents trying to push the Soviet Union around, but not in such a way that they respond with a nuclear hug.
July 23, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100802/ Total Recall]
Interesting sci-fi world and take on questioning reality.  Cool movie, but what the shit with the ultraviolence?
August 7, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0039743 Queen of the Amazons]
Movie quest for a missing man gives the intrigue of people talking in front of buildings and the excitement of two continents worth of stock footage to show what they're looking at.  Dead dull.
August 26, 2006, early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098206 Road House]
Philosopher bouncer cleans up shitty bar and town.  Go in expecting total cheese, and you will be rewarded.  This movie enjoys its R rating.
(The day I got my speakers.  Self, find out and fix this later.)
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078504 The Wiz]
70s urban Oz is an interesting premise, and the cast clearly has talent, but the individual songs (and between bits) are hit-and-miss, and it drags on.
November 23, 2006
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317219 Cars]
Doc Hollywood with an engine.  Meticulously crafted, but "Hotshot learns what's REALLY important from his friends." breaks no molds.  I wished something would happen to spice things up.
March 2, 2007
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0130121 Mickey Blue Eyes]
Auctioneer mixes with future mob in-laws.  "Comedy" that puts the protagonist in increasingly awful situations so he squirms.  Painful to watch, even if the guy getting shit on is Hugh Grant.
March 6 & March 7, 2007, both early AM
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0809927/ Karas: The Prophecy]
Demons kill humans, so a doctor must turn CG to fight them, while X-Files-ish cops are confused... and I'm even more confused.  No resolution... what the hell was going on?
May 4 & May 5, 2007
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0316654/ Spider-Man 2]
No origin tale, but Peter's real-world problems kept things interesting and me rooting for him.  Otto's mechanical arms had a silly, too-short explanation for existing.  Very entertaining.
August 18, 2007
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0372784/ Batman Begins]
Unless you're looking for camp, this is pretty easily the best live-action Batman by a significant amount.  It makes a billionaire vigilante with wonderful toys seem almost plausible.
October 7, 2007
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379184/ Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story]
This mockumentary keeps the burner at such a low temperature that it never really reaches a boil.  Riggle owns his manic role, though.
January 9, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327554/ Catwoman]
Half-black, half-white, half-cat, half-CG, half-naked, half-baked.  Also Sharon Stone as herself.
January 14, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090660/ Armed and Dangerous]
Competent 80s comedy.  John Candy and Eugene Levy play their usual characters, this time in the form of an ex-cop and ex-lawyer turned security guards.
January 25, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0492956/ The Game Plan]
Pro football player belatedly learns he's a father; predictable hilarity ensues.  I must admit I was surprised at how decent Dwayne Johnson is as a comic actor.
January 30, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120733/ Lion of Oz]
Me-too Oz movie, but at least this one is based on a legitimate me-too Oz book from a legitimate me-too Baum.  Gives the Cowardly Lion enough backstory to make him seem stupider.
February 12, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1072755/ Minutemen]
A group of dweebs use time travel to form a sort of BTTF-meets-Ghostbusters group that retroactively prevents embarrassment.  Decent Disney Channel fare.
February 14, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0143127/ Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero]
It's like Batman & Robin but not ridiculously silly.  Freeze comes across as a man pushed beyond his limits rather than a pun-tossing popsicle.
February 18, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109190/ Baby's Day Out]
Home Alone minus about 9 years.  John Hughes must really hate criminals' testicles.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0170016/ How the Grinch Stole Christmas]
Interesting for seeing Seuss-inspired designs in live action, but otherwise superfluous.  A love interest for the Grinch, seriously?
March 13, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0942903/ Stargate: The Ark of Truth]
Decent rush conclusion to seasons 9 & 10 that manages to feel bigger in scope than a double-length episode slapped on disc.
April 5, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0158811/ Muppets From Space]
Ironically more down-to-earth and locally-based than the far-off travels of previous outings.  More 70s music than 70s Muppet movies.
April 7, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0971215/ Shenmue: The Movie]
Shenmue, as it's always been seen before!  More a mess of chopped cutscenes than a movie, it works as a reminder leading up to Shenmue II, but not as a standalone experience.  A dull watch.
April 18, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0273842/ Motocrossed]
Turns out the world of motocross is so insanely misogynistic that a girl must disguise herself as her brother to not be relentlessly mocked and physically targted.  Also to meet guys.  Meh.
April 21, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206314/ Joy Ride]
Prank goes bad, makes random trucker even more dangerous than usual.  Full of unhappy thrills and Paul Walker trying to sound like a woman.
April 22, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082198/ Conan the Barbarian]
Interesting if graphic tale of the death and sex dealt by mute child turned mute slave turned heavily-accented barbarian.  James Earl Jones was nearly a goa'uld.  Also pre-Zelda music.
April 29, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087078/ Conan the Destroyer]
The continuing adventures of Conan, now PG rated so less bloody and sexful.  This time Conan is easier to dupe and chased by jailbait.
May 4, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075148/ Rocky]
A jokester realizes his life is shit; attempts to remedy that by chasing a mute and beating the shit out of dead cows.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079817/ Rocky II]
An emasculated champ needs to prove himself, and makes Rocky feel the same way.  Rematch/sequel/rehash ensues.
May 4 & 5, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084602/ Rocky III]
Pampered, softened ex-champs team up to take on the evil prototype of Mr. T.
May 5, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089927/ Rocky IV]
Creed's hubris takes him out.  Rocky misaims his vengeance on the Russian athletoscientific community, and succeeds.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100507/ Rocky V]
A post-money, post-brain damage Rocky's attempt to carry on in old sets and clothes comes back to bite him in the brain.  Also his kid must've taken HGH between movies.
May 7, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479143/ Rocky Balboa]
Aged restaurateur Rocky feels unfulfilled, and decides to move forward by... doing what he did thirty years ago to re-prove himself.
May 22, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367882/ Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull]
Harrison is a bit busted, and it's quite possibly the least awesome Indy yet... leaving it still among the most awesome films of the last few decades.  A 30s/50s/80s/2000s family adventure.
June 27, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425061/ Get Smart]
Avoids imitating the old, but taking the general ideas and using them as a vehicle for the modern stars; generally successfully.  More actiony than I expected.
July 1, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092948/ Raw]
A young, foul-mouthed, purple Eddie Murphy talks primarily about relationships.  I've heard better.
July 20, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0187078/ Gone in Sixty Seconds]
Ex car thief must car thief again to save his bro, the car thief who messed up.  Too many characters, too many cars, too little of me giving a shit about any of them.  Also asshole Eccleston.
July 31, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0929629/ Stargate Continuum]
Stargate has done time travel/alternate reality before, but this big canvass version is pretty awesome, too.  Really brings back the days of low tech and astounding odds.
August 15, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1185834/ Star Wars: The Clone Wars]
Tries to be both kid-friendlier, yet show more interstellar war.  Story isn't much, but the action is more Episode II than Ewok Adventure, and convinces me it can work as a series.
August 17, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0332047/ Fever Pitch]
Unobjectionable romantic comedy, with the main tension coming from the conflict between love of woman and love/obsession over an organization.
September 20, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0332375/ Saved!]
A comedy that's willing to put the blame for people's troubles where it belongs: organized religion.
September 28, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0850669/ Slacker Uprising]
Edited like a film, but is mostly clips from Moore's late 2004 tour.  So it's both old news and depressing with the foreknowledge of electoral failure.
October 20, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800328/ The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning]
Generic teen sex comedy using vague versions of Dukes characters.  Eww.
December 9, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0373051/ Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D]
The plot goings-on are pretty ridiculous, but it's mostly an excuse to show impossibly weird landscapes in 3D, which is a gimmick I can support.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0848557/ Diary of the Dead]
A return to pre-Land shock and defense, which is my favorite thing about zombie movies.  This spans locations, but not in a high-tech tank this time.  Real message: The truth is out there.
December 15, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0339343/ The Man Who Saved Christmas]
Meh.  The idealized toymaker who agreed to cancel Christmas then changed his mind when he realized that idea sucked.
December 16, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468492/ The Host]
Monster movie with modern production values turns into... a family's fight against the system?  Weird and well-made.
December 22, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0129360/ My Santa, My Dad]
One might need to go decades back to find a Christmas movie with worse acting and lower production values.
December 23, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083944/ First Blood]
Spark of a prick cop ignites the tinderbox of a troubled ex-Green Beret.  Nobody stops, so things escalate.  How did a movie like this become a franchise rather than a one-off?
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089880/ Rambo: First Blood Part II]
So they got a sequel by erasing the consequences and (too bad) turning him into a more generic action hero with hundreds of disposable, foreign, obvious "bad guys" he can freely kill.
December 28, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095956/ Rambo III]
It's like the second movie again, but this time with sand.
December 29, 2008
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1117563/ Batman: Gotham Knight]
Not a complete story, but these six well-made shorts show us Batman at different angles through different lenses.
January 13, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0374900/ Napoleon Dynamite]
It's like the whole world's awkwardness has been compacted into a small cast.  On top of this foundation, nothing much happens.
January 14, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363547/ Dawn of the Dead (2004)]
At slow points it might approach half the original, but when zombies start acting like professional gymnasts it gets five times as dumb.
March 2, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057581/ The Thrill of It All]
Doctor hates that his wife is no longer a stay-at-home mom, but a successful commercial spokesperson.  Hijinks and pissiness ensue.
March 28, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088194/ Streets of Fire]
A night in... under-the-pizza 1950s with 80s music?  Feels shorter than it is: little introduction, action scene, escape sequence, action scene, little conclusion.
May 4, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050556/ Jailhouse Rock]
Elvis Elvises it up in a movie that exists solely to show Elvis portraying a pseudo-Elvis who becomes rich and famous by singing, dancing, and looking like Elvis.
May 7, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0796366/ Star Trek (2009)]
This movie plays loose with the Trek rules in ways that even time travel can't explain, but get past that and there's a pretty great space action movie in here.  Not enough Bones, though.
May 23, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0438488/ Terminator Salvation]
A sometimes wooden vision of the future that manages to surprise with more than what we already knew to expect.  It's no T1 or T2, but at least it's not trying to be.
June 16, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0471711/ Futurama: Bender's Big Score]
Not quite as punchy as a regular episode, seems to screw with the ficional history, and is sometimes predictable... but it's still more Futurama.
July 9, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0962728/ Hobgoblins 2]
A bad movie because it's really bad?  Or good because it's trying to be bad and succeeds?  More of the former, though some of the hobgoblin wrestling and references to the first are fun.
August 1, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1054485/ Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs]
A much sillier Futurama that I think better captures the feel of the series.
August 3, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330373/ Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]
Here the length really starts to catch up with the filmmakers, though the key elements are in place.  Here's where the series really takes a turn for the dark.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0373889/ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix]
It's a race to the finish as the longest book in the series becomes the shortest movie.  The set pieces are there, but few things get enough time to stew to the proper taste.
August 8, 2009
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0796314/ A Dog's Breakfast]
Interesting to see familiar Stargate actors in something very different.  Sitcom production values.  Goes back and forth from comedy to unsettling.

Revision as of 15:51, 22 August 2009

The page of quick movie reviews, which, in terms of the number of characters used, are in length shorter than or equal to the title of the very page within which said movie reviews are contained.

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