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After a claim that Smash Bros.'s special moves could be taught in one sentence, I further put it in haiku form.

Special moves with B;

combine with stick directions

or use it alone.

2007-04-17, early AM

Perfect Strangers theme song, twisted.

Babelfish to Japanese and back, it is called Complete Others.

All is well in life

Sometimes the world looks perfect

Naught to rearrange

All's not well in life

Sometimes you get a feeling

Like change is needed

I will move forward

Probability be damned

Things won't block my path

This flame in my heart

Brings light to a dark street's end

And a long lost friend

Standing above all

Upon the wings of my dream

Rising and falling

Bear rain and thunder

I am bound for better days

Wind and haze will pass

Yes, this is my life

Nothing's gonna stop me now

And this is my dream

From a NeoGAF thread 2007-02-02

Carefully raise child

Build pool, get in, remove ladder

Will Wright kills again

Follow his commands

Peaceful settings hide monsters

Olimar: small god

Where were you that day?

Your alibi is air tight?

Objection! You lie!

Tree stumps fill the land

Crushed flower; rotten turnip

Truly a wild world

Simple happening

With a crazy bizarre twist

Help! Agents are go.

Animal Crossing Pioneer.  These are the haiku Al and I used to win early copies of Animal Crossing back in 2002.




Twenty-four seven

Thee six five (or six) per year

Animal Crossing

If can't Pioneer,

Mario would stay in Cube;

Legs would atrophy!



Night and Day system

It sounds promising to me

Acting as if real

And when connected

To my small Game Boy Advance


An old text file dated April 3, 2002.  Note the single 5-syllable line in the middle that didn't grow into a full haiku, but I leave here for historical accuracy:

It's a theory.

Derive, backwards, integrate

It's fundamental.

Can't imagine it

Square root of negative one

But it seems to work

Side over sine same?

Two pi radius

Pi, radius: a great team.

Pi radius squared

Four times pi r squared

Pi, radius: In 3D!

Four thirds pi r cubed

Saved in old text file

First haiku to my GameCube controller, Thursday, October 4, 2001:

Over here, baby

You've such beautiful shoulders

Let me feel you up

I found these in an old notebook.  They look to be something I did while passing the time around GameCube launch.

It's Monday the twelfth

I can't wait for my GameCube

Hurry up, Sunday

The chair has been moved

The speakers are optimised

Now to afford it

Blow up the Death Star

Rogue Squadron, where's our cover!?

Factor 5, you rock.

Where is Mario?

Classic wuss meets vacuum tale

Luigi's Mansion

Two hundred dollars

Four controller ports standard

Ate into my brain

Flipper by ArtX

Gekko made by IBM

Controller from Shin

I'm so damn obsessed

But that's just the way I am

So I write haiku

Nintendo, my world

Now how to turn this knowledge

Into cold hard cash

Ant-plant-like creatures

Controlled by tiny spaceman?

Now THAT is the job

There's more of it all

Even Ice Climbers are here

Super Smash Brothers!

Hugeass controller

Coupled with a hugeass price

Poor MS Xbox

Same old notebook, and considering the subject matter, similar time frame

I crash into things

Hijack hijack hijack hi

Kiss your buildings bye

Saved in old text file

8/22/2001, early morn


Arisen like Lazarus

Then bitch-slapped back down

8/23/2001, early morn.  Space World pre-show.  This is a haiku about the reaction of many people.  Rated M.

Crowded IRC

Praying for new media

THAT'S Zelda!?! The fuck!