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Short Movie Reviews 2011-2015 (view source)

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Funny and filled with big personalities, but the movie wanders all the hell over the place.
Funny and filled with big personalities, but the movie wanders all the hell over the place.


April 6, 2014<br>
April 6, 2014<br>
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[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120685/ Godzilla (1998)]<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120685/ Godzilla (1998)]<br>
As far as a monster movie turned into Americanized action, it could be worse. Decent cast. Halfway through turns into Jurassic Park, though.
As far as a monster movie turned into Americanized action, it could be worse. Decent cast. Halfway through turns into Jurassic Park, though.
May 19, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087344/ Godzilla (1984)]<br>
Much like 1954 Godzilla with slightly-less-obsolete effects. More explicitly a "living nuclear weapon", and nearly causes nuclear missile disasters, too. Few, but welcome, moments of levity.
July 15, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093220/ House II: The Second Story]<br>
Went in expecting schlocky horror; but instead got a fun, funny, cheesy comedy adventure movie.
July 21, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1470827/ Monsters]<br>
Weird little movie. The obvious monsters and sci-fi circumstances are mostly a backdrop for the interpersonal story.
July 27, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1318514/ Rise of the Planet of the Apes]<br>
The CG is preeeeetty obvious. The story works pretty well, though, with the results of a near-human ape being treated in sub-human ways.
July 29, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800080/ The Incredible Hulk]<br>
Banner on the lam was interesting enough, but I didn't fully buy the motivation of the antagonists so the story has a gaping void.
July 30, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371746/ Iron Man]<br>
Good casting and a protagonist made out to be a ridiculously rich supergenius and full of himself for it make for a fun watch.
July 31, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1228705/ Iron Man 2]<br>
I like seeing a superhero without a secret identity, for better and worse. More fun casting.
August 6, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389053/ Johnny Slade's Greatest Hits]<br>
A concept that started as a drama before being made a comedy, and it kind of feels like it. As much funny-strange as funny-haha.
August 11-12, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800369/ Thor]<br>
The leads had fun moments, but it seemed like the shallowest of the MCU movies yet.
August 13, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0458339/ Captain America: The First Avenger]<br>
Classic underdog power fantasy, given a big scope, retro setting, properly over-the-top villain. Maybe my favorite yet?
August 20-21, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090163/ Threads]<br>
Bleak and unflinching look at the people of a British city before, during, and after The Bomb hits.
August 27, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0848228/ The Avengers]<br>
The disparate-but-related established MCU characters are forced to come together, and nobody hogs the limelight. Big spectacles, big disagreements, big crossover, big fun.
September X, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300854/ Iron Man 3]<br>
For a third movie, it brings a lot of interesting new things to the table rather than resting on its laurels.
September 6, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1981115/ Thor: The Dark World]<br>
More eventful than the first, but still Loki is much more interesting than the rest of the movie.
September 11, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1843866/ Captain America: The Winter Soldier]<br>
Loses most of the retro feel, but is a pretty thrilling tale built on Captain America vs the sort of conspiracy theory you'd read about on the Internet.
October 8, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1187064/ Triangle]<br>
A tricky movie I often felt like I knew where it was going, but it still threw some surprises. Hard to say much without being super-spoilery.
November 19, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0413300/ Spider-Man 3]<br>
Too full of different new characters to give proper depth to any particular story thread. Alien-influenced Peter Parker is silly fun to watch, though.
November 20, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0948470/ The Amazing Spider-Man]<br>
A lot like Spider-Man, but with goofier hair, costume, and mumbling.
November 21, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1872181/ The Amazing Spider-Man 2]<br>
Spider-Man continues to fight villains that are like some know-nothing's worst nightmares about science come to life.
November 29, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0320691/ Underworld]<br>
There's style over substance, but this is like dividing over zero. Never have I seen a movie so wish it was The Matrix.
November 30, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0377818/ The Dukes of Hazzard]<br>
It has its moments, but mostly feels like a crude parody of the source material.
December 15, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2015381/ Guardians of the Galaxy]<br>
Big action, big music, big weirdness... but somehow it felt like it never got fully cranked up. This one doesn't go to 11.
December 29, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190545/ Gekijouban Doubutsu no Mori]<br>
Like the game, pretty plotless. It captures the look, sound, and feel much better than most game-to-movie adaptations, though, so for a guy like me this was definitely worth watching.
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1704292/ Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome]<br>
Definitely feels more pilot-y than movie-y. Nothing to write home about.
December 31, 2014<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2310332/ The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies]<br>
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT... The End?
January 1, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060278/ Daleks' Invasion Earth 2150 A.D.]<br>
More First Doctor episodes remade with colorful visuals and Austin Powers-approved music.
January 5, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2089864/ Zomvideo]<br>
One of the most rigoddamndiculous zombie movies I've seen. Has some funny moments, but is definitely no Shaun of the Dead.
January 6, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1696192/ A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner!]<br>
A pretty decent way to stretch a crazy cartoon premise beyond its limits.
February 13, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401855/ Underworld: Evolution]<br>
Marginally better than its predecessor, if only because they managed to take the action outside of underneath New York.
March 1, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1647668/ Million Dollar Arm]<br>
Based on a true story, but basically feels like a less-exaggerated version of movies done before. Sports players deal with both their special skill and fish-out-of-waterness.
March 2, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0970179/ Hugo]<br>
Urchin gets involved in things by chance, sticks his nose further in because what else is he gonna do? Has its charm, but seems a pretty simple movie and an excuse to watch pre-talkies in 3D.
March 10, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486665/ Trail of the Screaming Forehead]<br>
All the Blamire regulars blam it up big time. Which is a good thing.
March 25, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0945513/ Source Code]<br>
Groundhog Day meets Quantum Leap meets less compelling characters than either.
May 1, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2395427/ Avengers: Age of Ultron]<br>
Avengers are great as ever, though Ultron is no Loki. Crossover stories good for not having things end up "The hero right, the other people acting stupid".
May X, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2179136/ American Sniper]<br>
War. War never changes. But it can really screw with a guy's life.
June X, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0829150/ Dracula Untold]<br>
Dracula not a generic enough vampire character for you? Try him as a generic historical fantasy character instead. Meh.
June 25-26, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105665/ Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me]<br>
It's like Twin Peaks, minus most of the characters and tone, and made three times as inscrutable.
July 1, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0231402/ Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles]<br>
Somehow it's both tired rehash and fun to watch.
July 3, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1340138/ Terminator Genisys]<br>
Can't be what T2 was in 1991, but much more interesting and impactful than the last two. Time travel craziness with some ideas similar to the TV show, and others to crazy ideas I've had.
July 10, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780653/ The Wolfman]<br>
A 1930s monster movie with 2000s gore and effects. Didn't catch my interest much, but the creature look seemed surprisingly faithful to the old.
July 17, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478970/ Ant-Man]<br>
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids + Mission Impossible + Pikmin, though not quite as impressive as them individually.
August 4, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243655/ Wet Hot American Summer]<br>
Story goes in 10 directions, like a more-held-together Caddyshack. Totally stupid in almost all of the right ways.
August 5, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758742/ Death Note]<br>
Fairly faithful adaptation, right down to the totally BS gaijin names. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
August 6, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0810827/ Death Note II: The Last Name]<br>
Much more condensed and modified, this conclusion may actually be more satisfying than the drawn-out source material.
Early September-ish?, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286716/ The Hulk]<br>
Some visually interesting stuff, though the CG doesn't really hold up. Hulk capabilities and backstory preeeetty weird. Nick Nolte as himself.
October 10, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3659388/ The Martian]<br>
MacGyver/Robinson Crusoe in space. Matches the beats of the source material pretty closely.
November 6, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0359013/ Blade: Trinity]<br>
Dipshit vampires and dumb vampire versus asshole vampire and mortal morons. Who will win? Who cares?
November ?, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3076658/ Creed]<br>
Like the third in the series to try to rererevisit elements of the original Rocky? But it mostly works.
December 17, 2015<br>
[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2488496/ Star Wars: The Force Awakens]
A movie by people with Death Star-sized boners for A New Hope, and who also think you've got to make things bigger to be more impressive.
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