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The Colbert Report 2008 (view source)

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[[The Colbert Report]]


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'''04-08''': Those kids' drawings were pretty crazy.
Brimley is back!
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'''04-09''': On Bush's leaving: "Why start following the Constitution ''now''?"
Retiring the penny = re-assassinating [[Abraham Lincoln]].
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'''04-10''': More crazy kid pictures.  Super Banana Hillary?
I love those talking fish.  I wonder where I can hear more?
Great Satan, or Greatest Satan?
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'''04-14''': Ahh, Philadelphia.  With Ben Franklin, the Ed McMahon of the 18th century.
I love how to manage his "run to other set" bit with one set, he just ran in a circle while [[Chris Matthews]] was moved to a guest position off-camera.
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'''04-15''': Ahaha!  Copping a feel of the [[Thomas Jefferson|Jefferson]] stick and being driven to the top of the Rocky steps.
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'''04-16''': I want "Pontiff Beat" magazine.
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'''04-17''': What a big show!  It's a good thing Hillary was around to solve their technical difficulties.
Matthews blew Hillary (so to speak), but Edwards was a real surprise!  ED'''WØRDS'''
And Barack via giant screen!  And changing the On Notice board!  James Brady goes off; he's been there since the very beginning of On Notice!
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'''04-21''': A belated farewell for [[Eric Drysdale]].  Bobby... eaten!?
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'''04-22''': The real battle in Philadelphia is between... cheese steaks.
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'''04-23''': Rain strikes back!
I love how Stephen assumes anonymous people in the news are him.
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'''04-24''': Bees = blossum sluts.
God, that Bumbot is really quite Dalek-like.
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'''04-28''': New Zealand = Diet Australia.
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'''04-29''': "The only thing older than a 'McCain is old' joke... is John McCain."
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'''04-30''': Ahaha, Salinger Watch.
Only on The Report could a satellite discussion with [[Donna Brazile|a superdelegate]] lead to plans for a midnight rendezvous in Kansas City.
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'''05-01''': More socially responsible summer movie: Indiana Jones and the Wheel of Fortune.
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'''05-05''': On [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Miyamoto]]'s Time 100 victory: "When I throw barrels at an Italian, they call it a hate crime."
Rain!!!! Dancin' in Korean!
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'''05-06''': Stephen is <u>always</u> ovulating.
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'''05-07''': [trackingtransience.net]
Oh, poor media-isolated Justin-in-a-box.
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'''05-08''': WristStrong in space!? &nbsp;Member of the Colbert universe.
&quot;Eat it, Jon Stewart, I'm talkin' to space!&quot;
(Stephen caption) NEW YORK
(astronaut caption) OMG! SPACE!
&quot;If your erection lasts more than 100 years, pull out.&quot;
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'''05-12''': Vacation travel device: familypult.
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'''05-13''': Ahahaha, Colbert's faux-early-90s O'Reilly.
Gun control lobby: the fightin' pacifists!
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'''05-14''': On [[Edwards|John Edwards]]: &quot;He's going to need more than two Americas to hide from [[Hillary Clinton]].&quot;
Recount: &quot;This movie is <nowiki><nowiki>[</nowiki></nowiki>Democrats'] version of Titanic, only in this movie the Supreme Court declares the iceberg President.&quot;
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'''05-15''': Poor John Edwards without his jet ski.
Secret time-traveling Nazi Muslim!
I want a Colbert Tyro.
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'''05-27''': Catholic Church can't be Great Whore because they're against birth control. &nbsp;Unless Hagee is into pregnant whores.
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'''05-28''': &quot;Pennicillin, you make me sick! &nbsp;Then immediately cure me, how ironic.&quot;
I love Cheating Death.
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'''05-29''': Ahh, the astronauts and their high technology &quot;bag-like collection system&quot;.
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'''06-02''': iPod Nano video stamp? &nbsp;Nice.
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'''06-03''': [[Kucinich|Dennis Kucinich]] won the primary among animals.
Two shows in a row he uses clips from the preceding TDS. &nbsp;That's fast.
&quot;This is great news. &nbsp;For one thing, I believe calling Hezbollah the A-Team means we can put them in jail for a crime they didn't commit.&quot;
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'''06-04''': &quot;Of course I'm talking about the Libertarians. &nbsp;A party that wants to shrink down government so small that it could be injected into Martin Short.&quot;
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'''06-05''': Colbert in Andromeda Strain! ... sorta.
Timber sports: The Superbowl with chainsaws.
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'''06-09''': Democralypse-alypse!
Albatresbians and their sapho-avian agenda.
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'''06-10''': Ahahaha. &nbsp;He's taking Canada's hockey song for extremely American things! &nbsp;And punching beavers in the face.
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'''06-11''': Katamari! &nbsp;Super Barack & Hillary!
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'''06-12''': Make McCain Exciting... does.
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'''06-16''': The guest's Peabody came to visit.
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'''06-17''': Timebersporter Mike Forrester... got to second round due to disqualification. &nbsp;Go Mike! &nbsp;Beat Nwe Zealand!
Love the Internet/mosh pit analogy.
Hey, a Firefox 3 plug from the guest!
Ha! &nbsp;Putting up a Peabody on the portrait, since painting Stephen was standing in front of the other.
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'''06-18''': Stephen = Ballsy Smurf
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'''06-19''': [[George Foster Peabody]] earns a Golden Dorito. &nbsp;Nice.
[[Cookie Monster]]! &nbsp;What kind of freakshow Muppet lineup is Comedy Central running? &nbsp;&quot;Me like the [[Robert Downey Jr.]] of cookies!&quot;
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'''06-23''': WristStrong anniversary!
Face violence!
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'''06-24''': Colbert gets a spider!
Colbert & Will Smith compare ear talents.
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'''06-25''': [[Neil deGrasse Tyson]] again? &nbsp;Is this visit 4 or something?
Tonight's Make McCain Interestings are awesome.
Stephen wants buildings with huge tits... metaphorically speaking.
Oh, it's Neil's <u>fifth</u> time.
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'''06-26''': Tacos = freedom shells
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'''07-14''': Dalai Grimace.
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'''07-15''': [[Donald Trump]] is the [[Rosa Parks]] of giant flags.
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'''07-16''': Jimmy is quite the Rush fan.
&quot;President Bush may be a lame duck, but somebody forgot to tell his balls.&quot;
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'''07-17''': Rush there all night!? &nbsp;Long song.
&quot;Everyone knows I'm a big believer in John McCain. &nbsp;I believe he exists.&quot;
The McCain Report!
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'''07-21''': Barack Obama's Elitist Summer Abroad vs John McCain's Fiscally Responsible Staycation
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'''07-22''': Ben & Jerry's Kim John Dill.
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'''07-23''': Multi-Grain.
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'''07-24''': Threatdown... no #5 or #1?
Stephen trades WristStrongs with a spaceman!
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'''07-28''': Stephen-on-tape calls in to... Stephen.
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'''07-29''': Oh Stephen... you can't express milk.
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'''07-30''': Deep fried stick-on-a-stick more healthy than corn dog.
Damn, Stephen is hitting Canton, Kansas hard!
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Colbert?!
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'''07-31''': Ha, Starbucks on <u>both</u> sides of his desk! &nbsp;Poor Barry.
Cheating Death is always so great.
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'''08-04''': This interview is brought to you by [[Dr Pepper]]!
Stephen: &quot;That's cause I blew it so hard.&quot; &nbsp;Crowd: &quot;Ohh!&quot; &nbsp;Stephen: &quot;Oh my god.&quot;
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'''08-05''': Obama is pro-inflation.
Canton again. &nbsp;Canton, South Dakota is up next!
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'''08-06''': Ignorant-Americans. &nbsp;They're so discriminated against.
&quot;How many bugs do other TV hosts have? &nbsp;Other than that giant praying mantis that follows [[Sean Hannity]] around.&quot;
Spida of Love
Dribble-down economics.
To Costner: &quot;You've got two Oscars and I've got an assload of Peabodys.&quot;
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'''08-07''': Giant foam prayer hands!
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'''08-11''': Esteban! &nbsp;And his director, Jaime.
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'''08-12''': &quot;[[Even Bayh]]? &nbsp;He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.&quot;
Canton, Texas!
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'''08-13''': On Wikiplagiarism: President 404 File Not Found.
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'''08-14''': &quot;Sarajevo is for lovers... of trench warfare.&quot;
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'''08-26''': Stephen sounds off tonight. &nbsp;Sore throat?
Ahaha, powerful Stephen telling his children to go to sleep via satellite.
No, he ate insulation. &nbsp;It's not cotton candy.
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'''08-27''': The Denver set is such an incredible recreation.
Huck!
RIP [[Stephanie Tubbs Jones|Judge Tubbs]].
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'''08-28''': AMABO
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'''08-29''': God out of federal government = feeral vernment.
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'''09-02''': Ahahaha... using 4 year old Stephen footage as a correspondent. &nbsp;Well, fake old footage.
Heeeey, the Batman P.O.W.! joke.
Thanks for the laughs, Make McCain Exciting.
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'''09-03''': Ahaha. &nbsp;Now the show is in New Orleans.
&quot;John McCain is so tough, he'll even stand up to John McCain.&quot;
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'''09-04''': Show from... the Atlanta airport.
Raisin' McCain
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'''09-05''': Back to St. Paul!
Yay, new McCain green screen! &nbsp;He really asked for it.
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'''09-15''': Gorlok gives bad advice.
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'''09-16''': Oh, spelled Gorlock. &nbsp;Cindy McCain is of his species.
[http://nothingbutnets.net nothingbutnets.net]
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'''09-17''': Economy is strong ''and'' at risk, like a muscle man who won't use a condom.
Charlene: Behind her always.
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'''09-18''': Ice Manhattan -&gt; Walrus Sex and the City
Formula 4001: A Space Odyseed (For Women)
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'''09-23''': Rickles!!
The Word: OhMyGodSocietyIsCollapsingAndWeWillSoonBeDevouringEachOtherInTheStreetsLikeDogsAndACrippledOne-EyedBoyWillBeKingIfWeDon'tFixThisByNextWeek!
Vote For Taft, He's a Human Raft
Crystal Pepsi!
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'''09-24''': &quot;People tell me I'm white and I believe them, because I have a late-night talk show.&quot;
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'''09-25''': FDR vs TR: A tie! &nbsp;The winner: Roosevelt Franklin the muppet.
&quot;Sarah Palin is a dude! &nbsp;Good news, fellas: You're not sexist, you're gay.&quot;
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'''09-29''': Good ol' Prescott: Chinese Firebones & Capillary Yogurt?
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'''09-30''': A sly reference to his old theft of [[Abraham Lincoln|Lincoln]]'s corpse!
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'''10-01''': Teen voter abstinence. &nbsp;Hahaha.
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'''10-02''': Stephen Colbert shoots a former lover in the throes of passion!
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'''10-06''': Stephen shoots audience member again!
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'''10-07''': Town-hall Stephen.
[[Jared Fogle]] eaten by a bear.
Librarians are communists... is that what they've been hiding.
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'''10-08''': Stephen has the skull of [[Amelia Earhart]].
The Atone Phone is back! &nbsp;[[Gilbert Gottfried|Gottfried]] wants Colbert dead.
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[[The Colbert Report 2009]]
[[Category:The Colbert Report Seasons]]
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